More Damaging Confusion
from the "Ex-Gay" Movement

The following commentary was given by Pastor Ralph Ovadal on the June 23, 2006 edition of the "Heart of the Matter" broadcast. Please keep in mind that a good deal of this commentary was spontaneous.

I hope you listeners don't mind now if I go solo, so to speak, and take some time to discuss an issue I have dealt with in the past. That issue is the harm many so-called ex-gay ministries do to the cause of Christ. Now, I bring up the issue here for a reason, and we'll get to that in a minute, but many evangelicals have it in their head that the secret weapon against Sodom is ministries led by former citizens of Sodom. But God is our shield and our bulwark, our strong tower, and our defender. God's Word is the only perfect and reliable weapon we have in our contest with New Sodom.

Now, any ministry work which consistently and persistently speaks against the Word of God—and anyone leading such a ministry that does such a thing—is no friend of righteousness—I would dare to say, is no friend of God. It has been my observation that former homosexuals—I'm speaking in general here, and quite frankly, maybe not so general even—these people do not make good point men for the Lord's people when it comes to defending the Word of God against the lies of Sodom. That's the track record we see. I'm just telling you what I've seen.

It is one thing for a former sodomite, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, to go out and witness to sodomites. We had a wonderful testimony of that last week. We heard of such a man preaching the Word of God, including the Lord's law, at a sodomite carnival. But it seems these big-name former sodomites who head up the so-called ex-gay ministries always—it's been my experience, my observation—always seem to neglect the law of God and always make it sound like we Christians are supposed to spend all of our time ministering to sodomites and sharing the gospel—not even sharing the gospel, just being friends with sodomites—and none of our time declaring what the Word of God has to say about the abomination of sodomy. And we're not to spend any of our time, apparently, defending the Word of God against the perversions that are being foisted on an ignorant nation by the theologians of New Sodom.

Now, the sins of a man's past can still affect his outlook on things after he is saved by the Lord. Homosexuality is a very selfish, self-centered, narcissistic way of life. And I believe many of the high-profile, ex-gay, evangelical ministry leaders may indeed be influenced by their past in the way they deal with the issue of homosexuality; and thus they have a corrupting influence, doctrinally speaking, on the Lord's people. These people need discipleship; they don't need to go out and disciple others, at least with regard to homosexuality, it seems to me. Now, I am not talking about just legitimate differences of opinion here. I am talking about grievous doctrinal error which does great, great damage. You see, there's this psychological approach to combating this evil of homosexuality. They have people like Dr. James Dobson who puts together these ex-gay conferences—we'll just use the word they use, ex-gay—and indulges in all sorts of psychological schemes and language and devices to supposedly win people out of homosexuality and to Christ.

Well, I want to give you an example of the very thing I'm talking about—when I talk about how these ex-gay ministries, ex-gay people can spread a grievous doctrinal error.

Mike Haley, a former sodomite, is the manager—this is his title; I didn't give it to him—the manager of the Homosexuality and Gender Issues Department at the very ecumenical Focus on the Family; and he also serves as chairman of the board of Exodus International—North America.

Now Mr. Haley has a new book titled 101 Frequently Asked Questions about Homosexuality. And of course, there are some good things in this book, but it is also a very good example of what I have been talking about with regard to the ex-gay ministry world. I am going to read you some excerpts from Mike Haley's book which I found by skimming through it. I didn't read the whole thing; I skimmed through it, sort of did a little speed-reading. I've heard that it has already been acclaimed by some high-profile evangelical celebrities on Christian radio. Now if Mr. Haley was simply weak in a few areas or had not done a good job of explaining himself or just made some honest mistakes, or I just had some differences of opinions with him on some legitimately disputable issues, that would be one thing. I mean, we must not bite and devour each other.

But what you will hear is grievous, systematic, persistent error which does violence to the Word of God, and it is my experience and my observation that this is the sort of error which is very common in the neo-evangelical world and certainly is being perpetuated by the Mike Haley types; by the James Dobson types; by the former homosexual, the ex-gay ministries, unfortunately—perhaps not all of them, but the ones I've come across.

Now my plan is to bring these things to the Body of Christ using as brief a time as I can. I trust you will compare Haley's statements with the Word of God, but let's get started. This is from Mike Haley's book 101 Frequently Asked Questions about Homosexuality. Here's a question; listen carefully: "Do homosexuals choose to be gay?" That's the question given in the book. Mr. Haley writes this: "Let me answer this one directly: No! And in case you didn't hear me, let me speak up:" —he puts in all caps—"NO! This continues to be one of the myths of homosexuality that uninformed people perpetuate. . . . I can tell you from personal experience that virtually no one chooses homosexuality and the resulting pain and rejection that comes with it."

Now that's what Mr. Haley says; but of course, that statement is right out of the sodomite playbook, and it is echoed by the Catholic Catechism! That's right. And as far as the pain and rejection bit—you know, that being the so-called proof sodomites don't choose to be the way they are, they're just born that way—sodomites use that all the time. That's nonsense. The same statement could be used about many other sins, including adultery and murder. Who would choose to be a murderer? Who would choose to be an adulterer? Look at the pain and rejection that comes from those sins. Here's Mike Haley talking like a sodomite, quite frankly.

But to say sodomites do not choose to commit sodomy is against the Bible which makes it clear that homosexuality, like all sin, is chosen by the sinner. He or she may not remember the mental and the spiritual process that led to the act, and there might be a lot of reasons for the act—even if you want to say environmental reasons that helped propel a person toward a certain sin. There are no excuses, but there might be some reasons; there might be all these different things that come together; but in the end, it's our sin nature; and the Bible makes it clear homosexuals do choose to do what they do. And of course, each time they do it again, they choose to do it again. For instance, the Bible says about sodomites, they "change the natural" for "that which is against nature." They choose. That's a choice.

But let's go on to another issue—Mike Haley thinks sons showering—taking showers—with their dads is "good for small boys and can sometimes include brothers" [Haley quoting Dr. Joseph and Linda Nicolosi]. I mean, that is an abominable suggestion! Such a thing dishonors fathers. Mike Haley apparently never read the account of Noah and his sons. The group shower Haley promotes also teaches children to be immodest, to say the least.

Now on page fifty two of 101 Frequently Asked Questions about Homosexuality, we find this question: "I feel the need to write my grandson, who recently announced his homosexuality, because he doesn't call or visit. I've sent devotionals, written out Bible passages, and tried to encourage him to change, assuring him of my love and encouraging him to keep in contact. I pray for him daily. Can I do anything more concrete?" How does Mr. Haley answer this apparently godly, courageous grandparent? We need more like her. What a blessing for the grandson! How does Haley answer? Does he commend this person? Not hardly. Listen to his ungodly answer: "Yes, there is something concrete you can do: Stop! Your motives are obviously pure, but you are actually having the opposite effect than you hoped for: You are driving your grandson further away from you, and from the healing power of Jesus." "Driving your grandson away" from Jesus by giving him Bible passages? By giving him various Bible literature?

Haley goes on to say: "Pick up the phone, call him, and ask for forgiveness. Assure him that your love for him will never stop but that your ineffective ways of expressing that love to him most certainly will. Then ask him how you might do a better job of showing your love for him." Do you hear that? You're supposed—this person who's using the Bible, who's reaching out with the Word of God is supposed to stop; apologize to the sodomite; say this was ineffective, using the Bible. The Bible is ineffective. Tell me, tell me, sodomite, how I might better show love for you? I mean, this is outrageous.

Next we pick up on page fifty three with this question: "How should we respond to our son who wants to bring his live-in 'significant other' to spend the weekend in our home?" This is talking about the sodomite now. He wants to bring his sodomite male friend home. "We've been asking them to stay in a motel, but that has just led to our son not visiting at all." Now, of course, here Mr. Haley should have encouraged the grieving parents to stand firm and not allow the "significant other" into their home and thus encourage that perverse relationship. But what does he say? Well, he perverts the Word of God. He says this: "Consider the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15). When the prodigal 'came to his senses,' he went home. He wouldn't have done that unless he thought it would be safe—that someone would be there to joyfully welcome him. Many homosexuals don't believe they have welcoming homes to run to, and in fact, many of them don't."

What a minute! This is sophistry—a proud, open sodomite wants to bring his sodomite partner into his parents' home, and Haley perverts the parable of the prodigal son to say you should allow this to happen. What sophistry to compare the homecoming of the prodigal son to an unrepentant sodomite wanting to bring his partner home to his parents' house! The prodigal son did not return home with the harlots with whom he had been fornicating! He had repented and came home asking forgiveness. He said "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son." It was then the father joyfully received him back.

Now Mike Haley encourages the parents to allow the sodomite son and his partner in sexual crime to stay overnight in their home, although he says they should not sleep together. He says in another part of the book, let them come home, but they just shouldn't sleep together in your house. But then he suggests that while the sodomites ought to be welcomed, those who are against them staying should not be welcome. Listen to this; here's Haley speaking:

"If you decide to let your son and his partner stay overnight in your home, the family members who are uncomfortable with that decision should seriously consider whether they want to take part in the gathering. Conflicting messages from family members, especially family members who profess to be Christians, can drive a wedge between you and your son at the very time you're trying to demonstrate your love for him."

Isn't that just abominable, and doesn't Proverbs 17:15 say, "He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the Lord"?

On page sixty nine of his new book, Mike Haley deals with this question: "The lesbian couple next door has adopted a child and invited me to attend a 'celebration of life' event at their home. What should I do?" Well, here is Mr. Haley's unbelievable answer (I'm giving you excerpts): "[T]hese are events that Christians should jump at the chance to attend. Nothing could agree more with our foundational belief in the sanctity of human life." How he comes up with that, I do not know. I mean, as they say in the legal world, supra. I mean, go back to Proverbs 17:15. And also we think of 1 Corinthians 15:33: "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." And we could quote so many Scripture verses to say how wrong Haley is to encourage Christians to join with sodomites in celebrating their adoption of a child.

Now throughout Mike Haley's book, it is clear over and over that he believes one can be a sodomite and a Christian. This is especially egregious. He gives sort of mixed signals in some places; in other places, it's not mixed at all. For instance, it is clear in his response to this question found on page 146: "Our pastor says that all homosexuals are going to hell. Is that true?" Now here's Mr. Haley responding. He comes back with a response that shows that he has no concern that he is undermining a pastor who has taken a biblical stance badly needed in this confused age of growing apostasy. Mr. Haley responds with this perverse hermeneutic which just confuses many. Here's what he says. This is typical of the ex-gay ministries, unfortunately; it's typical of the neo-evangelical world. Here's what Haley says: "Does your pastor also believe all alcoholics are going to hell? How about all gossips? All liars? Salvation isn't dependent on some sort of sliding scale of whose sins are more serious. Each of us must believe in, acknowledge, and submit to the lordship of Jesus Christ. If brokenness is the criterion for keeping one out of heaven, I know of no one who qualifies." What is he talking about? Brokenness? I mean, he's not talking about repentance here. He's talking about just someone who's deeply involved in sin, and he calls that brokenness. He's not talking about repentance. "Man's salvation is not dependent on our actions but on our belief in His." He's just perverting God's grace here.

Now listen; here's what he says: "Many people believe in Christ—gay and straight alike—who have not yet been convicted about or enlightened to God's full truth regarding particular moral issues, temptations, or sins. . . . Once someone comes to know the truth and continues to live in open rebellion, though, their love for God must be questioned." So if a sodomite says, "I know the truth, and I'm saved," but he continues to commit homosexuality, you don't question his salvation, his conversion, his regeneration. You just question how much they love God. You see what he's saying here? You see what he's doing here?

"[T]here are churches whose congregations are largely active gays and lesbians. An example is the network of Metropolitan Community Churches. This can only be because there are homosexuals who desire to love Jesus, who have not felt welcome in the congregations that have forgiven the sins of the drug abuser and the abortion survivor and the repentant adulterer." Well, where do we go with this? This is a two-hour sermon, isn't it? In the time available, what can I say? I can only urge Mr. Haley to read I Corinthians 6:9-11 for starters and realize he has been deceived when he makes the claim that those practicing sodomite acts have been regenerated and adopted into the family of God. Haley is so man-centered. He's so man-centered. Doesn't he believe that there is such a thing as a regeneration by the Holy Ghost? Doesn't he believe that we become new creatures in Christ? It doesn't mean we become sinless; but the Bible is clear: we don't live openly in perverse, abominable sins if we're saved, regenerated by the power of God, reborn.

And to answer his earlier question, those who consistently lie—I'm saying this is their language, their native tongue—and those who are drunks do show they have not been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. That's clear. Now being a child of God is not a matter of living sinlessly; it's a matter of not living in gross, open sin though. I mean, we don't live in gross, open sin and rebellion to God. The Word of God is the final word on the matter. I know we're treating it a little briefly, but we need to move on.

There are a couple of other confusing statements from Haley that I want to deal with just very briefly. And here are a couple of confusing statements from Haley, the first on page 71 and the second on page 167: "When reaching out to the gay community, we must avoid behaviors that would keep our gay friends away from the open arms of their Savior." So apparently all the sodomites have a Savior. I mean, if you're not saved, you don't have a Savior; and the Bible is pretty clear that there are more that don't get saved than that do. It's a strait gate. It's a narrow way. Jesus is the gate.

"When gays are convinced that Christians embrace hateful, bigoted, intolerant, or homophobic thoughts, we have to acknowledge that part of the reason may be that we don't exemplify love in a way the gay community can receive." So here you are, folks. You're supposed to exemplify love the way the "gay community" defines love and will then receive it. And shame on you, Christians, if you have what Mike Haley calls a bigoted, intolerant, or homophobic thought or a hateful thought. Doesn't he sound like a homosexual? I think he does, not that I am saying he is.

But then on another page, much further back in the book, wanting to, I guess, look like the champion of Christianity and the Bible, Haley says that the sodomite activists want to marginalize Christians, and then he says that isn't even enough for them. "Christians are vilified with labels like 'homophobic,' 'hate-monger,' and 'intolerant.'" What a minute. That's on page 167. Back on page seventy one, he accused Christians of being hateful, bigoted, intolerant, or being homophobic. There he uses the sodomites' words.

On page ninety one, Mike Haley quotes Joe Dallas, another ex-homosexual who thinks there is such a thing as a sodomite Christian. He thinks the same thing. The issue is a pastor who "reached out" to sodomites—you know in that neo-evangelical, forget-about-the-law way—instead of preaching the Word of God to them, which is true love—love for the Lord, love for the Word of God, and then love for lost souls. [Dallas] says this: "Soon, gay people started showing up at his church—not necessarily to repent. Sometimes in pairs. Just coming to hear what this man had to say who had been so loving and gentle and open on the radio program. And the congregation got nervous. They said, 'Pastor, the homosexuals are coming! They are coming down the aisles by twos! What are we going to do?'" In other words, there are all sorts of open, arrogant sodomites that are not the least bit repentant; they're coming to see what's going on; and of course the congregation got a little nervous. You know, they have children there too. And how are we going to play this? What are we going to do? What are you going to preach? What did the pastor say? "He said, 'Well, I guess they can take a seat next to the idolaters and the gossips and the fornicators and the whoremongers. Make room.'"

Now again, what happened to the Word of God? We are supposed to think it a wonderful thing that a pastor would have a church apparently full of open, unrepentant sodomites along with open, unrepentant idolaters, gossips, fornicators, and whoremongers. Well, the Word of God says something much different about Christ's Body, the Church. For instance, what happened to I Corinthians chapter five? But here we see the very sin for which the proud antinomians among the Corinthian church were condemned: "And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you." And "a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump." Christians are never going to be perfect until they're in the presence of Christ. I mean without sin. But we can't turn the church into a mob of open lawbreakers.

Now as Christians, we are to go out and preach the gospel to the lost, but we are not to build churches out of still lost sinners! But Mr. Haley, always sensitive to sodomite feelings, is against Christians preaching the gospel to the lost, at least to the sodomites. That's the way it sounds to me with regard to going out, preaching with power. He writes on page ninety six: "Many well-meaning Christians, for instance, attend gay-pride parades and similarly homosexuality-affirming events, hoping to reach the lost for Christ. But such celebrations are rarely favorable for evangelism. In fact, those attending usually react to Christian outreach efforts with disgust. My suggestion"—"my suggestion," Mike Haley says; "my suggestion" to you Christians who have been standing against this spread of sodomy in our land, standing against this perversion of the Word of God and God's creation, going out with gospel banners and preaching the gospel, reproving the unfruitful works of darkness, sharing the gospel with sodomites—what is Mike Haley's suggestion to you? "Focus your outreach efforts by investing in the life of a gay individual in a neutral setting."

Has Mike Haley ever read of the preaching of the prophets and the Apostles? Has he ever read the book of Acts? Hasn't he heard that the gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing? Doesn't he know we are to preach to the conscience of every man? This advice of Mike Haley's is the siren song of the devil. I don't hesitate to say it. You know, he's saying, Don't reprove the unfruitful works of darkness! Don't preach the gospel to all creatures. Don't be a light to the world. Just make a friend of a sodomite and invest in his life and have your good manners, as the Scriptures say, corrupted.

By the way, on page 145 of his book, Mike Haley writes this unbiblical statement regarding sin: "Homosexuality is neither the greatest nor the least—it's just another sin that can keep anyone from experiencing God's best." That's all homosexual acts are to Mike Haley—just another sin that can keep a sodomite from experiencing God's best. In other words, they can be saved, but it could be even better than it is.

It is clear that Mr. Mike Haley does not tremble before the Word of God as He calls us through the prophet Isaiah to do. God calls us to tremble before His Word. As further proof, listen to this comment from Mike Haley on Romans chapter 1, verse 28 which states of sodomites: "And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient." Now here's what Mr. Haley says about that verse:

"Some people believe these are four eternally damning words: 'God gave them over.' Their eisegesis (reading one's own ideas into God's Word) goes like this: 'If God gave them over, then they don't have the capacity for redemption because God won't contradict Himself by changing His mind and offering salvation.' . . .

"These people miss two truths. The first nonnegotiable to any Christian's faith is the truth of Christ's complete work of salvation on the cross. And the second truth is that homosexuality is just one of many sins listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10."

Now that's what Mr. Haley says about Romans chapter 1, verse 28. Well, first of all, no one has the "capacity for redemption"; Christ is the redeemer of those dead in their trespasses and sins.

But here, as throughout his book, it is Mr. Haley who is the one guilty of reading his own ideas—and I would say his own emotions and his own past—into God's Word. Romans chapter one, verse 28 speaks plainly on its own. The sodomites being spoken of, it says, have been given over to a reprobate mind. Now we know from I Corinthians chapter six, verses nine through eleven that some sodomites have been saved by the power of God. It's very few because it's very few of all sinners who are saved; and with this destructive, heart-hardening, conscience-searing behavior of homosexuality, we can be sure there are very few saved. And here is a stark warning that homosexuality is a dangerous sin that so corrupts the one involved in it that he is soon given over—or she—to a reprobate mind.

But let's quickly add a bit more context for Mr. Haley's sake and for those he is deceiving. Verse 18 of the same chapter of Romans says the individuals given over to a reprobate mind suffer "the wrath of God." Verse 21 says, "[T]heir foolish heart was darkened." Verse 24 states God "gave them up to uncleanness." Verse 26 states, "God gave them up unto vile affections." Verse 27 tells us they receive "in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet." Verse 28 says, "God gave them over to a reprobate mind." Verse 32 says, "Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them." That's a little context for what Mr. Haley is saying about Romans chapter one, verse twenty-eight.

Now Mr. Mike Haley ought to stop misleading the Lord's people. He ought to turn to the Scriptures as the lamp unto his feet and cease assisting the kingdom of darkness with his neo-evangelical, emotion-driven teachings on homosexuality; and people ought to stop listening to the Mike Haleys of this world; and people like D. James Kennedy and other Christian celebrities ought to stop promoting his books and his perverted gospel on Christian radio at the expense—literally financial expense and also spiritual expense—of the Body of Christ. If Mike Haley has been redeemed by the Lord, we would expect that he would repent of all his gross misrepresentation of God's Word. That is our prayer for him.

Remember, we're not taking Mr. Haley to task here for any minor things here. We're not talking about something where it's just a slip of the tongue, or he didn't express himself the best or made some small error without realizing it. In the short time I've talked about this issue, and with as much as we commented on, I could have made some mistakes. I hope you'll bring them to my attention if I have. We're not talking about that sort of thing. We're talking about a systematic error here. We're talking about anti-biblical, unbiblical doctrine—things that fly against the Word of God. And so this is very, very important. This is systematic, this is pervasive throughout his book and his ministry; and we need to be aware of this. The Word of God is more important than personalities. This isn't about gnat-straining. This is all about a systematic weakening of the Word of God—or at least an attempt to—a systematic assault upon the authority of the Bible. And so it is very important that the Body of Christ understand this and the Body of Christ take appropriate action where they can to stand up against this sort of deception, this sort of attack upon the very Word of God.

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